The Goodies Vault

Official Application Form for Parlimentary Leadership

Surname (last name): .......................................................
Christian name (first name): ............................................
Names in between: ........................................................
Nickname: ......................................................................
Age: (If over 21, put "over 21") .......................................
Height (approx): ..............................................................
Weight (approx): .............................................................
Sex (approx): ...................................................................

To which political party do you belong, if any? ................................................................................ ................................................................................
Have you ever held office in a Cabinet? If so give details of your achievements whilst in power
...........................................................................

Are there any other offences you would like to be taken into consideration?
...........................................................................

Which political fifure of the past do you most admire?
a) Lloyd George
b) Disraeli
c) Machiavelli
d) Attilla the Hun
e) Attilla the Liberal

Arrange the following list of atributes according to their importance in the make-up of a Prime Minister:
a) Blue eyes
b) Pragmatism
c) Economic know-how
d) All on teeth
e) Double-barrelled name
f) Seat belts
g) Skill in debate
h) Clean fingernails
i) Extensive repertoire of comic songs

Note: Any candidate arrogant enough to assume he is
doing all fight so far may proceed to the next section


Who is your favourite British male vocalist?
........................................................................

Television technique
If you were addressing the Nation on
TV, what would you do with your hands?

a) Hold them claspes in front of you on the desk
b) Wave them around in the air like a greasy foreigner
c) Pick your nose
d) Fondle the microphone

Word Association
What word do you normally associate with each of
the following?

a) Economic .....................................................
b) Financial ......................................................
c) Political ........................................................
d) Bribery and ...................................................
e) Immediate ....................................................

Spelling
Can you spell "chrysanthemum"?
a) Yes
b) No

Honesty
Can you really spell chrysanthemum
a) Yes
b) My answer to the previous question seems to have
been misinterpreted in certain quarters. At no time
have I tried to give the false impression that I actually
could spell chrysanthemum, merely that I might be
able to:- which you will agree is a far cry from etc.etc.

Parlimentary debating technique
As Prime Minister, how
would you address the Leader of the Opposition?

a) The honerable member with a big bum
b) Mouldy old stink-pot
c) Grandma
d) Your worship
e) Ferret face
f) Sausage nose
g) Grot-bag

Declaration
I hearby declare that the above answers are true to the best of my knowledge and ability
love from


This form must be sealed in a envelope and sent to: His Nibs, 10 Downing Street, London, Nr. Godalming

To arrive no later than lunchtime